Introductions....

So I guess I should introduce myself....
I'm Barb. 35 year old SAHM of 4. 3 living children. Married to my high school sweetheart, Danny. Together since 1989 and married since 2002. You'll soon see..we're a little unorthodox that way.
The reason I felt I needed to start this is because..well....ok...
First there is Max. Max is our 3rd child who was stillborn at 28 weeks gestation. He died due to a Placental Abruption that had been occurring for months but I guess I just wanted to believe what they told me..everything is going to be fine...some women are just 'lucky enough' to have a period for their entire pregnancy. It was all just a load of shit. My 'lucky enough' ass delivered Maximillian Kelsay Thomas at 7:10 am on March 8,2004 and the only screaming and crying to be heard in the room was from Danny and myself. I nearly died form all of the blood that I had lost and needed a transfusion. It was one of the most awful experiences of my entire life. But then to have to come home and tell my 9yr old and 5 yr old that the baby brother that we had promised had died before he had been born.....awful.
Initially I rejected the thought of EVER trying to have another baby...with the possibility of losing another child?!?! Hell no. Not this girl.
And then I couldn't deny the ache anymore. I needed another baby to hold...to heal our family and my heart. We tried for a year...all 3 of the other kids had been pleasant surprises and both of our sets of siblings seemed to be popping them out at an astounding rate so we never even thought there would be a problem. And compared to most fertility issues ours wasn't the worst case scenario, but difficult for us nonetheless. Max's delivery had thrown my body into a type of 'menopause' and I wasn't ovulating. Lucky for us it only took one month of Clomid 50mg on cd 3-7 to start our journey with Brody.
It really was a picture perfect pregnancy untill my 34th week. I guess it wasn't perfect because I had kidney stones a few weeks earlier and thought bthey were acting up. I decided to take a bath to relax and that's when it all went to hell.
I'm not even ready to tell the whole story again today. So long story short, B was stillborn after an emergency C-Section and revived after 17 to 20 mins. Partly due to an ass of a paramedic who kept telling me to 'relax..it's not like you've never done this before!' It was very touch and go for awhile..a long while. He suffered severe brain damage due to the lack of oxygen and is severely delayed. He doesn't even eat by mouth but has a G-Tube. But I don't want to give you the wrong impression...he's not just a 'lump' like many doctors told us he would be but he definitely has his struggles. He has wrapped us all around his little finger and we're happy yo be that way!
You can visit Max and Brody's sites by clicking the links in my profile.
** long breath out**
Now we have been introduced.....I'll be back soon.
Peace and love.

Oh yeah....

I forgot I even started this Blog!LOL!
I went searching for one to start and lo and behold.....
Are we ready for the ramblings of a crazy woman?