Frustrated

Yep...that's me. I'm forever stuck here..in this house. i know I should try harder to get out but it is so very hard with B. I am so envious of people with 'typical' 4 yr olds who can get up and go. No tube feedings to mix up in case they're gone longer than 3 hrs. No Ativan or Dystat to take along in case he has some big seizure while we're out. Not to mention where in the hell do you actually administer a rectal med out in public?!?! I know Ricky doesn't miss going out with Mama but I would really like to be able to take Lex out to the park or something. I think maybe it's time to find a dr to look into some antidepressants.
Duty calls......

Just checking

Alot has happened since my last post sooooo long ago. Since then we have had another baby...a girl named Sarah Claire. She was a huge surprise and au naturel even! She was born October 24, 2009 at 31 weeks due to a 3rd placental abruption. She is 6 months old now and a doll!! She is right on track for her chronological age, not her adjusted age and is just amazing. I think one of the things Brody has taught me is the wonder that is a child. I thought that I knew before....
.....appreciated it all.....
....but everything that she does just captivates me like I have never experienced it before in my life. I raised two perfectly typical children before B and don't think I ever appreciated it fully. But I guess it takes having a child that has never taken anything more than tastes by mouth to really make you sob the first time you feed a newborn.
She really is exactly what I needed.
I had started to think that things would never be good again. B has so many problems and the two bigger kids were being worn down by all that is B. Sarah brought sunshine back into our lives and I love my little Peanut for it!