Yep...that's me. I'm forever stuck here..in this house. i know I should try harder to get out but it is so very hard with B. I am so envious of people with 'typical' 4 yr olds who can get up and go. No tube feedings to mix up in case they're gone longer than 3 hrs. No Ativan or Dystat to take along in case he has some big seizure while we're out. Not to mention where in the hell do you actually administer a rectal med out in public?!?! I know Ricky doesn't miss going out with Mama but I would really like to be able to take Lex out to the park or something. I think maybe it's time to find a dr to look into some antidepressants.
Duty calls......
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Alot has happened since my last post sooooo long ago. Since then we have had another baby...a girl named Sarah Claire. She was a huge surprise and au naturel even! She was born October 24, 2009 at 31 weeks due to a 3rd placental abruption. She is 6 months old now and a doll!! She is right on track for her chronological age, not her adjusted age and is just amazing. I think one of the things Brody has taught me is the wonder that is a child. I thought that I knew before....
.....appreciated it all.....
....but everything that she does just captivates me like I have never experienced it before in my life. I raised two perfectly typical children before B and don't think I ever appreciated it fully. But I guess it takes having a child that has never taken anything more than tastes by mouth to really make you sob the first time you feed a newborn.
She really is exactly what I needed.
I had started to think that things would never be good again. B has so many problems and the two bigger kids were being worn down by all that is B. Sarah brought sunshine back into our lives and I love my little Peanut for it!
.....appreciated it all.....
....but everything that she does just captivates me like I have never experienced it before in my life. I raised two perfectly typical children before B and don't think I ever appreciated it fully. But I guess it takes having a child that has never taken anything more than tastes by mouth to really make you sob the first time you feed a newborn.
She really is exactly what I needed.
I had started to think that things would never be good again. B has so many problems and the two bigger kids were being worn down by all that is B. Sarah brought sunshine back into our lives and I love my little Peanut for it!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Introductions....
So I guess I should introduce myself....
I'm Barb. 35 year old SAHM of 4. 3 living children. Married to my high school sweetheart, Danny. Together since 1989 and married since 2002. You'll soon see..we're a little unorthodox that way.
The reason I felt I needed to start this is because..well....ok...
First there is Max. Max is our 3rd child who was stillborn at 28 weeks gestation. He died due to a Placental Abruption that had been occurring for months but I guess I just wanted to believe what they told me..everything is going to be fine...some women are just 'lucky enough' to have a period for their entire pregnancy. It was all just a load of shit. My 'lucky enough' ass delivered Maximillian Kelsay Thomas at 7:10 am on March 8,2004 and the only screaming and crying to be heard in the room was from Danny and myself. I nearly died form all of the blood that I had lost and needed a transfusion. It was one of the most awful experiences of my entire life. But then to have to come home and tell my 9yr old and 5 yr old that the baby brother that we had promised had died before he had been born.....awful.
Initially I rejected the thought of EVER trying to have another baby...with the possibility of losing another child?!?! Hell no. Not this girl.
And then I couldn't deny the ache anymore. I needed another baby to hold...to heal our family and my heart. We tried for a year...all 3 of the other kids had been pleasant surprises and both of our sets of siblings seemed to be popping them out at an astounding rate so we never even thought there would be a problem. And compared to most fertility issues ours wasn't the worst case scenario, but difficult for us nonetheless. Max's delivery had thrown my body into a type of 'menopause' and I wasn't ovulating. Lucky for us it only took one month of Clomid 50mg on cd 3-7 to start our journey with Brody.
It really was a picture perfect pregnancy untill my 34th week. I guess it wasn't perfect because I had kidney stones a few weeks earlier and thought bthey were acting up. I decided to take a bath to relax and that's when it all went to hell.
I'm not even ready to tell the whole story again today. So long story short, B was stillborn after an emergency C-Section and revived after 17 to 20 mins. Partly due to an ass of a paramedic who kept telling me to 'relax..it's not like you've never done this before!' It was very touch and go for awhile..a long while. He suffered severe brain damage due to the lack of oxygen and is severely delayed. He doesn't even eat by mouth but has a G-Tube. But I don't want to give you the wrong impression...he's not just a 'lump' like many doctors told us he would be but he definitely has his struggles. He has wrapped us all around his little finger and we're happy yo be that way!
You can visit Max and Brody's sites by clicking the links in my profile.
** long breath out**
Now we have been introduced.....I'll be back soon.
Peace and love.
I'm Barb. 35 year old SAHM of 4. 3 living children. Married to my high school sweetheart, Danny. Together since 1989 and married since 2002. You'll soon see..we're a little unorthodox that way.
The reason I felt I needed to start this is because..well....ok...
First there is Max. Max is our 3rd child who was stillborn at 28 weeks gestation. He died due to a Placental Abruption that had been occurring for months but I guess I just wanted to believe what they told me..everything is going to be fine...some women are just 'lucky enough' to have a period for their entire pregnancy. It was all just a load of shit. My 'lucky enough' ass delivered Maximillian Kelsay Thomas at 7:10 am on March 8,2004 and the only screaming and crying to be heard in the room was from Danny and myself. I nearly died form all of the blood that I had lost and needed a transfusion. It was one of the most awful experiences of my entire life. But then to have to come home and tell my 9yr old and 5 yr old that the baby brother that we had promised had died before he had been born.....awful.
Initially I rejected the thought of EVER trying to have another baby...with the possibility of losing another child?!?! Hell no. Not this girl.
And then I couldn't deny the ache anymore. I needed another baby to hold...to heal our family and my heart. We tried for a year...all 3 of the other kids had been pleasant surprises and both of our sets of siblings seemed to be popping them out at an astounding rate so we never even thought there would be a problem. And compared to most fertility issues ours wasn't the worst case scenario, but difficult for us nonetheless. Max's delivery had thrown my body into a type of 'menopause' and I wasn't ovulating. Lucky for us it only took one month of Clomid 50mg on cd 3-7 to start our journey with Brody.
It really was a picture perfect pregnancy untill my 34th week. I guess it wasn't perfect because I had kidney stones a few weeks earlier and thought bthey were acting up. I decided to take a bath to relax and that's when it all went to hell.
I'm not even ready to tell the whole story again today. So long story short, B was stillborn after an emergency C-Section and revived after 17 to 20 mins. Partly due to an ass of a paramedic who kept telling me to 'relax..it's not like you've never done this before!' It was very touch and go for awhile..a long while. He suffered severe brain damage due to the lack of oxygen and is severely delayed. He doesn't even eat by mouth but has a G-Tube. But I don't want to give you the wrong impression...he's not just a 'lump' like many doctors told us he would be but he definitely has his struggles. He has wrapped us all around his little finger and we're happy yo be that way!
You can visit Max and Brody's sites by clicking the links in my profile.
** long breath out**
Now we have been introduced.....I'll be back soon.
Peace and love.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Oh yeah....
I forgot I even started this Blog!LOL!
I went searching for one to start and lo and behold.....
Are we ready for the ramblings of a crazy woman?
I went searching for one to start and lo and behold.....
Are we ready for the ramblings of a crazy woman?
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